- Wake up, brush teeth, wash face/shower (if not done the night before), moisturize...dig through closet, try on pants/skirt/dress/whatever, take it all off because it doesn't look right or squeezes your icky thighs in the wrong place, do this 3-5 times.
- Fix hair, change hair because it looks crappy, yell at hair because it's not doing what you want, look for appendages to put in hair to cover up wrong curls/2 day hair grease/bad cowlick/etc...
- Quickly apply make-up because now you're running late (stupid poo-poo thighs in those pants, and you should have washed your hair last night, dammit) smudge mascara all over eye, run upstairs for eye make-up remover, take off all mascara. Repeat. Do the same with eye liner, liquid mess all over face, smudge and leave the house with what looks like bruises all over cheeks.
- Throw shoes on. Wrong shoes. Wrong pants, pants too short for those shoes. Change pants again. Wrong shoes again. Put on first pair of shoes. Repeat.
What's your morning routine? Is it anything like mine?