I'm really impressed with my green thumb lately. The plant that Julie gave me as a housewarming gift, the plants that my grandparents passed on to me when they moved, and the orchid that I bought at Whole Foods two months ago, are all thriving incredibly well. Of course, without anyone to talk to at home, I am spending a whole lot more time telling them how amazing they look. And if this is the case, plants must be just like women. Simply feed them with a bunch of bullshit about how beautiful they are, and they will stick by you regardless of how hot it is in your apartment, how long it’s been since you’ve given them a drink, or how often you fertilize their…ahem…soil.