Electric Slide and the newest version of the exact same dance, the Cupid Shuffle.
Three things that made me feel old this holiday:
1. The Fashion: What the hell is up with the skintight shortest skirt you can fit your (potentially fat) ass into + Grecian sandals look? There is no way I would ever have sported that combo when I was 21-27. Now, throw some heels on that bitch and we’ve got ourselves a straight up hooker, and an outfit I may or may not have worn in 2001, 2, 3, or 4.
2. Tequila: Since when is it delicious to sip on a cup full of pure tequila and ice? Sorry bartender, but last time I checked, margaritas had sour mix and sometimes Cointreau or other fancy liquors in them. I am not 17 anymore; and my overall goal isn’t to get shit-faced off of Everclear and Kool-Aid that’s been mixed inside of a 5 gallon bucket and hauled to the middle of the woods where all my other 17-20 year old friends are that aren’t supposed to be drinking. I’m allowed to drink, and I like my beverages palatable.
3. Cab: I’ve no longer resorted to semi-sober driving. I will get a cab every time I plan to drink, and I won’t be disappointed when I’m riding in the same cab home a couple of hours later. Not even when I am as sober as Lindsay Lohan was for those historic twenty minutes in 2006.